WELL I DON’T KNOW OKAY?
I’ve always had a temper. And not just your average “oh she’s just in a bad mood” kind of temper, but a raging and very unforgiving one. From the 4th grade to my 4th year in high school, my mother grew tired of receiving calls from my teachers. For whatever reason, I snapped again. My religion teacher claimed that theologians have actually “seen” purgatory and I called her out on her stupidity. Or I don’t know, someone in my class breathed weirdly and weird breathing just happens to bring out the Joe Pesci in me. And every time this happened, I hoped my mother would rush to my defense but instead she’d apologize in my behalf. Back then, you’d think it was merely an “act of rebellion” or an aversion to authority, as what’s expected from most teenagers. Yet here I am in my late 20s, fairly independent, still no reason to rebel, and I am still SO. ANGRY.
Though on occasion, I’ve learned to somehow pacify this anger with a good sense of humor. Is there such a thing as devouring wit? Each and every stressful encounter with a douchebag, bitchy Tita, or rude parking attendant is chronicled through a joke or oftentimes an all-caps heavy FACEBOOK STATUS. I have an immediate need to rant and the sooner it’s all out, the sooner I feel better.
But as these blowups become more frequent, I find myself at an impasse: what if the joke isn’t funny anymore? Where do I draw the line between entertaining and just plain offensive? The scariest thing about this method is sometimes I don’t even have time to apply a “funny filter” anymore. I feel the anger rising, I explode, and I just become MEAN. Continue reading “Why are you so angry?”